Navy SEAL turned leadership coach Jocko Willink has a simple yet effective solution to navigate any problem we might face: Good.
What is “Good”?
Good is the antidote to four-letter words. You know these words – the ones that come to the tip of our tongue when frustration, injustice, or anger hits. Words that curse a higher power for allowing such hardships to befall us. Four-letter words are a rejection of our circumstance.
Instead, Good is an acceptance of whatever comes our way. It’s the desire to make the situation work for us instead of against us. It’s swimming with the current instead of against the current. It’s acceptance of what we can’t change and a willingness to work on what we can.
The principle of Good isn’t a seeking out of suffering, torment, or hardship; instead, it’s a form of radical acceptance. Good is the understanding that something positive can be gleaned from any circumstance. It’s the knowledge that by focusing on making the best of a situation, not only are we more likely to make it through, but we’re more likely to benefit from it as well.
Taken to its extreme, we get stories like that of Victor Frankl, a survivor of the holocaust. In his book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, Frankl describes how he survived Auschwitz, explaining that “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” This is the epitome of Good. It’s recognizing that we own our attitude of how we perceive the world.
Life is hard. There’s no doubt about that. At times, it may feel insulting for someone to suggest that we define our situation as Good. How can the loss of a child, or an unexpected cancer diagnosis be good. How are the injustices of the world and war Good?
Good doesn’t mean ignoring or sugar-coating the bad in a situation. It isn’t pretending that life is sunshine and rainbows. It’s accepting that there are some things that our attitude can’t change. Whatever happened might still be 90% terrible, maybe even 99% terrible. Though Victor Frankl undoubtedly wished to escape his circumstances, he recognized that only his attitude was within his control.
When life is going well, it’s easy to apply the Good principle. By contrast, it is hard to apply when times are hard. This isn’t a switch we flip at will, it’s a practice to requires consistent cultivation in our daily lives.
Applying “Good”
Below, I’ve provided some examples from my life on how I’ve applied the Good principle:
Good applied to the physical
- I tried to run a half marathon in 1:45:00 but missed it by a minute. Good. I have a reason to keep training.
- I couldn’t sleep last night. Good. I get to experience what it’s like to be a parent with a newborn so I can have more compassion for them.
- I injured myself at the gym. Good. I get to schedule some deliberate recovery and work on slowing down.
Good applied to the spiritual
- I’m trying to meditate and my thoughts won’t slow down. Good. This is a chance to observe how my mind usually operates.
- I’ve prayed for something and it’s not turning out how I’d like. Good. I can work on my faith that things will work out, even if it’s not how I’d expect.
- I travelled to India for a month and it’s nothing like the spiritual experience I expected. Good. I get to see that the world is very different than I imagine and can try to find Spirit in all things, even the chaos.
Good in other situations
- My layover way delayed. Good. I get to spend the next six hours at the airport working on that writing project I’ve been meaning to get to.
- I feel lost and I don’t know where my life is headed. Good. If I knew exactly where my life was going it wouldn’t be exciting.
- I had a bad week at work and I am feeling depressed. Good. I get to work on navigating life in a less than ideal headspace.
- People tell me I’m too positive for applying the good principle in all areas of my life. Good. I’ve made a lasting impact.
Conclusion
Jocko Willink’s principle of “Good” serves as a powerful antidote to the frustration that arises in moments of distress. Instead of defaulting to those four-letter words that reject our circumstances, we can shift our perspective and find opportunities for growth within them.
So, the next time life goes sideways, acknowledge the bad, but see what happens when you adjust your attitude to focus on what’s within your control. Embrace “Good” and try to notice if anything changes, even just a little bit.